The Ranting Thred

Okay so there's this guy at school called Harry, he's cute, funny, nice, amazing drummer and is almost perfect but he smokes and I have Asthma lol. I reeeeally like him I've been put in a band with him over the past two weeks (which was like heaven for me!). Today we got put in our permenant bands and I wasn't put with him! DX But no it doesn't stop there, I have a friend Kieren who also plays the drums and he got put in a band with this girl Casey who is GORGEOUS, Kind, can sing like...there are no words to describe it!(and one of my closest friends ;] ) and Harry said "You're so lucky to be put in a band with Casey" When Kieren told me that I felt like I'd been kicked in the teeth! Am I THAT crap of a singer then?? Or am I not pretty enough? I try so damn hard to even be called "cute" once (which has never happened, from a guy I mean)
I seriously have no idea what to do. My last relationship ended badly, and I never want to be put in that situation again.

Aww Susan! I wish I could take you away from it all... Just have you live with me, like the sister I never had (yes, I have a sister, but she's more like a brother so technically I don't count her as my sister. Besides, my Mama says she has 3 kids- one of each xD xD). It would be amazing if I could, sweetie, it really would. But I can't. And it's annoying knowing that people I care about keep going through Hell and there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening, nor can I take them away, even for a second....

What have I done so wrong? First, me and my boyfreidn argue. Pretty-damn major one too. He went to work and I've been sat here, upset and depressed, without anyone to talk to or to hold me and say everything will be alright. We've argued every fucking day this week, and I'm terrified this could be the beginning of the end... And I don't want that to happen.

Because then... I really will be alone...

So- he had extra hours at work.... Even though he said he was finishing at 3. So- what happened to our plans, huh? Fucked up that's what. I'm so fed up of life getting in the way. Whenever we try somehow the plan has to change.... I can't TAKE it for much longer. I don't want to leave him, but sometimes I just feel like letting go of him for a little bit to get my bearings together. Of COURSE I love Tom! The only doubt I have is being cast by our arguments over nothing.... He means everything to me, but if we argue almost every day when we spend one week together, then how bad could it become when he does move in? What is there for me to do then? I can't handle it. I almost self-harmed again today, but I stopped myself because I know how upset it makes Tom. Isn't it ironic and stupid how the one thing that almost drove me to self harm is the ONE thing stopping me?

Why can't ANYTHING in my life make sense?

Uchiha_Helenaka wrote:Aww Susan! I wish I could take you away from it all... Just have you live with me, like the sister I never had (yes, I have a sister, but she's more like a brother so technically I don't count her as my sister. Besides, my Mama says she has 3 kids- one of each xD xD). It would be amazing if I could, sweetie, it really would. But I can't. And it's annoying knowing that people I care about keep going through Hell and there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening, nor can I take them away, even for a second....

aww thanks Helz, you're such a great friend.... and i hope that you can get through your problems

me+bill=luv4ever wrote:

Uchiha_Helenaka wrote:Aww Susan! I wish I could take you away from it all... Just have you live with me, like the sister I never had (yes, I have a sister, but she's more like a brother so technically I don't count her as my sister. Besides, my Mama says she has 3 kids- one of each xD xD). It would be amazing if I could, sweetie, it really would. But I can't. And it's annoying knowing that people I care about keep going through Hell and there's nothing I can do to prevent it from happening, nor can I take them away, even for a second....

aww thanks Helz, you're such a great friend.... and i hope that you can get through your problems

Thank you sweetie. I think you're one of my best friends too.

And I hope so too *hugs loads*

Tokio Hotel are FINALLY doing a tour in Europe!
But what's this?
THEY'RE NOT COMING TO LONDON, AGAIN!
FFS!!! </3

Ok. I CANNOT fucking take it anymore! my mom picks fights with me over the STUPIDEST things! i didn't want to have my lamp on while studying, and she got so mad, she HIT me. about an hour later she says sorry and expects it to all be ok.... it sucks...i really want to run away... if only i had somewhere to go... but i don't... so i'm stuck here in this hell hole till i go to college....

and it happened again... this really sucks... i can't take this anymore... i wish i could get out of here...

Susan- you know you can tell me anything. That's what friends are for!! lol What's wrong sweetie? *hugs*

aww.... thanks helz.... i guess it's ok now... but something is going to piss off my mom AGAIN and she'll yelll at me again....

urgh...again...i got yelled at because my mom bought the wrong toothpaste.... i don't even have to do anything to get yelled at anymore...

Aww sweetie! *hugs loads* How the smeg can you buy the wrong TOOTHPASTE ffs? EVERY BRAND IS THE SAME! Your Mama is WEIRD....

AND OFMG KAYKAULITZ WILL YOU FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?! I mean- what have I done to you, eh? NOT A FUCKING THING! If I'm so 'obssessed' then WHY do YOU have 'Kaulitz' in your username instead of me, huh? You don't know I 'lied'- and I wouldn't anyway. Lying on the internet is PATHETIC! Lying about ANYTHING- ethnicity, age, gender, height... IT'S REDICULOUS! name ONE person who is 100& honest on the internet, anyway? hmm? Because I sure as hell can't!! GO DIE AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And to top it all off- my memory stick isn't working... Which means... No music, no TH videos no fucking NOTHING! *cries*

ARGH!!!!!! BILL BETTER NOT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!! (but of course i'll support him once HE admits it, and not this creeper Kim Paradise!)

To be honest, I dunno if he has. I mean- all I know is that 'Kim Paradise' has OBVIOUSLY photoshopped a picture of herself into a pic from the backstage area of the EMA's to make it look like she's been there.... And I do a LOT of work with Photoshop lol

But if he does, I for one am happy for him! Sure, it's upsetting for me if he does, but I know no matter ho much I love him, how much I feel for him and care about him, there is a VERY slim chance it could ever be... :'(

ehh, there has just been an interview released from them in russia, and they confirmed that all of them except Georg are single.

I've read a interview from last month when they said that..... So, yeah- that's another reason hy I know that 'Kim Paradise' is just an attention whore...

I have had ENOUGH!!!
First, I am HARRASSED AND ABUSED ON MY OWN FUCKING BLOG by someone I thought was my friend. I'm not going to name names *cough* KAYKAULITZ THAT DUMB-ASS WHORE! *cough*. AND this fucking retarded TH Hater who's like 30- and he';s now become her fucking bumchum!

Look- one of my closest friends is in HOSPITAL right now because of her heart condition, another tried to fucking kill herself, my Aunt Kristine DIED a few days ago, I got attacked in the street ebacuse of the way I dress, my family hates me and to top it all off me and Tom are no longer on speaking terms... So You two dumb-ass motherfuckers do NOT HELP!!!

I wish you would just go DIE! Or creep back into whatever fucking hole it is you came out from! I cannot STAND you! I have put up with all the schiesse I am having to deal with, and and YOU TWO?! KAY YOU CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP! I enevr did a DAMN thing to you- So what if I got emotional? Hmm? EVERYONE fucking does, bitch. If you don't like it, you can kiss myu fucking ass because I am fed up! I am fed up of life, and I am DEFINATELY fad up of YOU and your PATHETIC ways! GROW THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU?! I thought you were maturer then this... Obviously, I was mistaken. Only when I am no longer on the Official forum do your TRUE colours come out. And oh, how ugly the inner you REALLY is....

I cannot take this any fucking more! Those dogs will not shut up, no matter what I do or what i say or how fucking hard I try! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE SO WRONG?! I've payed attention to them, I've given them treats, i've let them outside, they came back inside...

WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPOSSED TO DO?! I need a ciggarette right now- but no. I have none. FFS I KNEw this would happen... I should have just gone home yesterday...

OH MY GOTT. IM SICK OF HER. First of all, im the criminal for messing around and calling Tom Felton (so called love of her life) gay and apparently 'putting her off him'... when... im sorry, but who, out of all of us, gets the most shit for liking a guy? oh yeah! me! you ALL constantly me a lesbian and Bill a gay, a poof, a girl or whatever and DO you hear me complaining? well... yeah... XD.... but I dont go into a huge tantrum 'uuuuuuuh you put me off hiiiiim waaaaaaaa'. and THEN she accuses all of us for apparently bitching about her when she was asleep... im sorry... we said fuck all about her when she was asleep... and now suddenly, all of the rest of them are forgiven, even though Im actually the ONLY one who appologised even though I did nothing...and Im not forgiven? shes just CARRYING on being bitchy to me? how the fuck does that work out?! UGH... go grow up you immature child!! GOD

I hate my life...

It's official. Hardly a THING has gone right the past few days, and to top it all off I STILL have morons on my back? Well, to be honest you are NOT worth my time. I have had to go through so fucking much right now, so you are not helping.

KayKaulitz- you call yourself a fan... You are a DISGRACE TO US AND A DAMN-WELL DISGRACE TO TOKIO HOTEL! How DARE you say you like them! How DARE you dishonour Bill and Tom's surname by using it! How FUCKING DARE YOU!!! I can say this all I want to you- but you'll only turn it back on me with your sarcasm, and your fucking PATHETIC attitude to everything. The world doesn't revolve around you, bitch.

*Hugs* its ok, Helz... you always have us xx

*hugs back* Danke, I needed that

URGH!!!! Why do I have to endure this pain?!? I've tried my hardest, and my mom is yelling at me for forgeting to turning in an assignment! I can't take it anymore! I've got horrible friends at school, my mom yells at me for everything i do, my life just sucks... i just wanna get out of here.....