For Bill- WARNING! Sad, BMD and for 12+

Next chapter is ready, and will be posted tomorrow!

AW! I can't wait! I'm gonna have to wait till i get home from school...

Well- I could post it quickly now, if you want?

ehhh...if you want to wait, that's fine, i don't mind....

After about 3-4 hours, I began feeling hungry so I stopped making the adjustments to the music sheet, and headed downstairs to the kitchen to get some food. The lyrics had been done in about half an hour...An hour at the most. Bill always complained about how song-writing was more difficult then it looked, and to be honest, I can see where he was coming from now. I mean- I had the first verse and the chorus written withing the first 10-20 minutes. It was quite hard from that point on, but I finally finished the lyrics that I really hoped Bill would appreciate. I walked down the stairs, and saw Gustav in the living room, doing some exercises like he usually does. I sighed at how he seemed to be acting normal, as if Bill’s death hadn’t affected him at all, and walked into the kitchen. There was Georg, sat eating a bowl of soup. “I didn’t know you liked soup...” I said quietly, making him look up.
“It’s all there really is...” Georg laughed a little, causing me to smile slightly. “What have you been doing up there for so long?”
“Writing a song....”
“Oh...Is it...for Bill?”
“Yeah...And about how much...I’m...going to miss him...” I felt my tears beginning, and I fought them back as hard as I could.
“Do you mind if I read some of the lyrics later on?” Georg asked, placing his spoon back into the now-empty bowl.
“Yeah sure...Go for it...” I sighed, not really caring too much about his opinion but I thought I’d better let him read them anyway. “When you going to?”
“Umm...In about 5 minutes alright with you? Have you finished the song?”
“Yeah it’s all finished...In about 5 minutes is fine...”

True to his word, 5 minutes later I was leading Georg upstairs into my room. I pointed lazily at the sheets of paper on my desk, and he walked carefully towards them, avoiding the as of yet uncleared shards of glass that were still scattered on the floor from last night. Georg carefully lifted the first sheet, read a little, then looked up at me, his eyes watery with tears. “’The Summer sun is fading as the year grows old...And darker days are drawing near...The Winter winds will be much colder...Now you’re not here’...” he quoted, a tear trickling down his face. “It’s...it’s beautiful....it really is...”
“Really?” I asked, not believing him.
“Ja....Ja...” Georg went back to reading, the further he read, the more tears woudl flood down his face. “The bit about the birds is brilliant....”
“Danke...” I whispered in an attempt to stop my own tears.
“‘Like the Sun through the trees you came to love me.... Like a leaf... on a breeze you blew away....’” Georg quoted once more, and looked up at my teary face. “Wow, Tom....Bill would have loved this...He really would have....”
“Do you... really think so?” I asked quietly, bowing my head so that he wouldn’t see my tears as they began falling.
“Ja...I do Tom....You of all people should know whether he would have liked this or not...”
“And I know he would....he would have....” I looked up at Georg, my tears now in free-fall. “I miss him so much, Georg....Oh mein Gott...Bill....”
“I can tell...This song...Says it perfectly...Aww come here Tom...” Georg reached for me and I practically fell into his arms sobbing.
“It’s...It’s... only been a day...And I....I miss him so damn much....Oh Gott BILL!” I shouted into Georg’s chest, gripping him as close to me as possible.
“Shh....” Georg cooed soothingly, petting the back of my head gently.
“Bill...Why...Why did he have to die? Why...why not me...” I whispered, knowing full-well no-one could answer my questions.
“Maybe we should show Gustav the lyrics- see what he thinks, yeah?” Georg said quickly, as if trying desperately to take my mind off of everything.
“Yeah....” I allowed myself to be led downstairs, ‘Forever Autumn’ clutched gently in my hand

AWWWWW!!!!! love it Helz!

In the living room, Gustav was sat on the couch, listening to music on his laptop as he browsed through old photographs of the band. As we got closer, I could hear ‘Leave Out All The Rest’ by Linkin Park through his headphones, and Georg poked Gustav gently on the shoulder. He looked up and removed his headphones, noting probably immediately that both me and Georg were in tears. “Ja?” he asked gently, looking at the paper in my hand.
“I...Want you...to read this...” I somehow managed to say, holding out the lyrics in a trembling hand. Gustav looked at my face, sighed sorrowfully, and took the song carefully. He smoothed out the paper a little as he read, his eyes slowly going from one side of the page, to the other, then back. After a minute or two, he looked up at me, and sighed once more. “Wow...I’m...I’m speechless...” he whispered, a single glistening tear trickling down his face and dripping onto the bottom corner of the first sheet. “I...Really am...”
“Do you think...Bill would have liked it?”
“Yes...He would...Tom...”
“OK.” I looked back at Georg, and he pulled me into a loose embrace once more as I felt my tears beginning yet again.

The next thing I knew, the dreaded day had come. I pulled on a smart suit, jet black of course, and looked up at my reflection. I had tied my dreadlocks in a kind of ponytail, and I adjusted the sleeve of Bill’s black shirt, sighing to myself. I was thankful that we were both the same size, but it felt weird wearing something of his knowing that I would be the last person to... I adjusted my hair once more, and looked at my face in the mirror as a single tear rolled down my left cheek. I sniffed, and wiped my eyes gently with the back of my hand. I sat myself gently onto the edge of my bed, took a quick glance at the walls of Bill's room (which I had redecorated with pictures of Bill and me), and slipped my right foot into one of my black shoes I had bought specifically. Once I had finished putting my shoes on, I stood once more, and looked at the picture of Bill laughing I had in a frame on my bedside table. I lifted it carefully, and watched as a droplet landed with a soft splash, salt water now covering part of Bill’s face. I sniffed, and wiped one finger slowly over the water, forcing it to drip off of the edge of the frame as I stared at Bill.... Thoughts of how I can never see him like this again flooding me, consuming me. I let out a loud sob, and broke down, falling to my knees as my body trembled with my tears. “Bill...” I whimpered, holding the photograph to my chest in sorrow and anguish. “I...I don’t want to...I...I can’t...say goodbye...Oh Gott Bill!!” I sobbed. I suddenly became aware of the bedroom door opening, and I looked up. “Bi...Bill?” I asked quietly, recognising the figure stood before me. I rose, and reached one hand out to touch his face.
“What?”
I shook my head, and saw Georg stood there, a slightly puzzeled expression on his face. I looked him in the eyes, and whimpered, practically collapsing into his arms.
“I...I saw...I saw him....”
“Shh...Tom, the car is here.... We’re ready....”

awww.... this is so sad but beautiful all in one!

Danke/ The next Chapter should be up tomorro, or later on today. Depending on my own.

lol geil! im writing and new chapter should be up soon

Awesome can't wait to read it!

I sat quietly into the Hurst, and cast a sorrowful and sympathetic look onto the coffin that led behind me. “Bill....” I whimpered, the mere thought that he was so close, yet so far, giving the sensation that my soul was being ripped from my body. I placed one hand on the thin glass separating the front of the Hurst from the coffin compartment, and whispered to Bill how everything was going to be alright as the car pulled away, Georg and Gustav getting into Gustav’s car to follow behind. “I love you so much, Bill... What...am I...going...to do without....you?” I whispered, my tears making my words broken and painful. I licked my dry lips, and let out a sigh as the Hurst pulled over to pick up my mother and step-father. I looked up at Mother, her eyes red from her tears, and she sat beside me, placing her own hand onto the glass next to mine. “Oh Bill...” I heard her whisper, and I watched as a tear trickled down her cheek. She then looked at me, and wrapped her arms around me as she sobbed, forcing me to remove my hand from the glass and hold her in a semi-comforting embrace as she wept. My heart pained even more at the sight of my own Mother sobbing, and I looked back at Bill’s coffin. ‘Why, of all people, was it you?’ I thought, one of my tears dripping onto my Mother’s hat and veil.

The Hurst pulled over at the church, and I stepped out slowly to find a crowd of fans gathered along the streets. Almost all of them were sobbing, the rest comforting them, and there were several groups with signs reading ‘RIP BILL’, ‘Bill- we love you’ and ‘Bill- you will be missed by all of us’. I said a quick thank you to them for being there, comforted the few that I could, accepted apologies and sympathy from others, and I turned around to see Gustav’s car pulling up slowly. He pulled over, and I watched as Gustav got out of the passenger seat and practically ran into Georg’s arms. “Gustav....” I whispered as they approached me.
“Hey...” Georg said gently, Gustav’s sobs almost drowning out his words. “He... He couldn’t drive... He was almost blind because....because.... he was crying so much...”
“Come on... “ I tenderly took Gustav and helped Georg lead him through the heavy maple doors that lead inside the church. As we stepped through them, I noticed something that made my heart stink and ache even more... The doors were made from the same wood as Bill’s coffin...

As the vicar spoke about Bill’s tragically short life, not a single eye was dry in the large hall. I buried my face into Georg’s shoulder, drawing a small degree of comfort from him draping his arm weakly around my shoulders. Georg’s hot tears dripped silently onto my hair, causing me to become lost in memories….I whimpered as I thought about how we’d only argued about a week before Bill had been killed in that car accident, and how glad I was that we’d gotten over it so quickly... Because otherwise...
I swallowed hard as Georg lifted my head out from his armpit. “Tom…we’re…gonna say…speeches, in a minute…” I tried to speak in response, but all I could do was sit there, the lump in my throat almost choking me.
“You…can say yours first…Tom…”
“O.K.” I said quickly, without even really thinking about what I had just said.
“Or are you singing?” Gustav asked quietly from behind me. I placed my hand in my breast pocket, and felt the piece of roughly-folded paper in there.
“I....I’m singing....”
I wrapped my arms around Georg as we rose to sing a hymn, but I couldn’t bring himself to make any sound. All I could do was whisper the word ‘Bill’ as the hymn finished. I moaned in anguish, flinging myself into Georg’s arms once more. I received dodgy looks, but I didn’t care. All that I cared about was the fact that Bill was gone….. And that now I was all alone…..

I stood at the podium, and pulled out the crumpled lyrics from my pocket. I looked at Georg as he passed me my acoustic guitar, one of his tears dripping onto the neck as he walked away, and thanked I him quietly as I adjusted the strap. I looked at the crowd beneath me, and sighed as I adjusted the microphone. “I...I wrote...this song...for Bill...” I managed to say, my voice break from my tears. “I hope.... you like it...” I whispered, looking through one of the stained glass windows and into the sky. I placed my hand in the appropriate position on the neck of my guitar, and started playing. I finished the introduction, and started singing.

“The Summer sun is fading as the year grows old,
And darker days are drawing near,
The Winter winds will be much colder,
Now you’re not here…

I watch the birds fly South across the Autumn sky,
And one by one they disappear,
I wish that I was flying with them,
Now you’re not here….


Like the Sun through the trees,
You came to love me.
Like a leaf on a breeze,
You blew away….

Through Autumns golden gown,
We used to kick our way,
You always loved this time of year,
Those fallen leaves lie undisturbed now,
‘Coz you’re not here,
‘Coz you’re not here,
Coz you’re not here…’

I tried my hardest not to break down as I played the sorrowful interlude that had pained me so much. I remembered how often Bill would sing a melody for me so I knew what to write- and how this was the first time I had ever written a piece of music without his guidance and help... And how that almost killed me inside.

‘Like the Sun through the trees,
You came to love me,
Like a leaf on a breeze.
You blew away,

A gentle rain falls softly,
On my weary eyes,
As if to hide a lonely tear,
My life will be forever Autumn,
‘Coz you’re not here,
‘Coz you’re not here,
‘Coz you’re not here….”

*crys hysterically* AWWWWW!!!! POOR TOMI!!!!!!

When I finished, I looked up at the crowd as they applauded sorrowfully. I looked over at my Mama, and saw tears streaming down her face as she clapped slowly. Gordon gave me a proud sort of look and I whimpered as I placed the guitar beside my seat as I stood. As ‘Magic Dance’ by David Bowie played as Bill had always wanted, I couldn’t help but let out sigh of disbelief. I struggled to come to terms with that fact that he actually wanted this song at his funeral.... Well, at least he’d gotten it. That was some comfort to me, and I found myself mouthing a few of the words as I looked over at the coffin. Everyone began leaving the church hall, and I watched as my biological father, Georg, Gustav and Gordon lifted Bill’s coffin and begin to take it outside. I ran towards them, offering to help. Gustav looked at me, and indicated for me to join at the front, near Bill’s head. As I took the weight of Bill’s coffin onto my shoulder, which was surprisingly light- just like he was, I grabbed one of the brass handles on the side and followed my father, who was walking on the other side, as he led us outside and into the graveyard. The last place on earth I expected to find Bill, at least.... at so young an age. I felt my tears blinding me mildly as we stepped onto the stairs, loud sobs from family, friends and fans alike all joining in unison at the sight of the maple coffin. I sniffed, fighting back my tears as I held my head high, proud memories of everything Bill had achieved in his cut-short life filling my head, causing my vision to become more and more blurred.

I watched, aimless and lost, as Bill was placed into the 6 feet deep hole before me. I whimpered as the vicar once again started speaking, this time the speech about how we were giving Bill’s body to the soil and his soul to the heavens above. I looked up at the greying clouds above us, and I looked down at Bill’s coffin in his grave. The vicar looked at me, indicating that I should grab a handful of soil and throw it on. Carefully, I took a handful of the relatively freshly dug earth from the mound that was next to the open grave, reluctantly throwing it onto Bill’s coffin with a dull thud. I watched as the vicar said ‘ashes to ashes, dust to dust’ while someone stood shovelling the dirt onto the coffin. “Bill...” I whimpered, falling to my knees as the grave became more and more full. I felt a comforting arm around my shoulders, and buried my face into the shoulder of Gustav. He whispered things into my ear, but I wasn’t really paying much attention. All I could think about the intense feeling of sorrow and loss that was surging through me at the loss of my twin. And that was when it started raining.... as if the skies themselves were crying for Bill.

D:
:'(
so SO sad...
but really good Helz!

Danke. I might post a little bit more in a minute... Me and Tomi argued though, so I'm not sure if I'm in the mood...

I will be posting more AS SOON AS I CAN!!! My back-u disks are at home ATM, but next time I come to Tomi's, I will happily put more of my fanfics onto here!